#timblr maniacs

[lixana]

Timber Travels advert #3 - Winhill, the picturesque village Book now and enjoy your vacation!

For @timblr-maniacs

[fatedcircle-wishingstar]

Mod Thoughts XVI

So I know I've been away for a while (technical issues, mostly) but this Winter Break I'm focusing on a few things:

Putting together added ideas & thoughts collected over the past few months for the next version of the Mod Document, I have a lot of things to add!

Finishing a modified script with @klepto-maniac0 (and hopefully @nononokey if she'll help!) for the first test scene!

And finalizing the Opening FMV!

I'll leave you with my Mod Thought before I get started: When you read Timber Maniacs in the game, it's on a black screen. Wouldn't it be cool to have an actual issue with the appropriate Laguna Article as the background for that scene? There could be a single page or a two page spread -- potentially we could even frame the Laguna Article with submissions from @timblr-maniacs -- this goes for any other magazines in-game, I could update those files to have the article in question surrounded by fan-written articles, it could be really cool and shouldn't be difficult to do 🤔

[lunamanar]

1011

So. Hey. 

Some thoughts I’m having right now. 

I’m staring at the list of people who follow me. I’m thinking, “I know so few of you.” I’m thinking about research that says we can only really “know” and keep track of something around 120 people before we literally start to forget our friends. 

It kind of hurts. I’m thinking about feeling invisible, disposable, and how often I’ve warred against exactly those feelings. I remember a lot of destructive things I did because I didn’t know what would actually work. I turned away, I stopped talking. I thought, ‘if they’re going to forget me, there’s no point in staying.’ I wondered what it was I was doing so wrong, how unimpressive I must be, to put so much into something I love and then show it to the world only to hear nothing for an answer. I remember pushing through and trying again. I remember, over time, gaining a small audience, and thinking, maybe, if I just kept working, maybe something I did would actually matter enough to move people to discussion, to be talked about when I wasn’t there anymore. I wanted to do something worth remembering. I wanted to think, if I left, I’d be missed. 

Seems like such a strange thing to want. I didn’t want to hurt anyone. I just wanted to hear that I was known. Or more specifically, that my creations were meaningful to a large group of people, or to one person with a broader reach than I could ever have. I wanted to be recommended, for what I wrote to be cherished and persistent. I wanted that feeling, so I could validate my own attachment to that work, to help me overcome the sharp doubt that anything coming out of my mouth or typed from my hands into a text field held value. 

I was struggling with two beasts in my mind tearing pieces of “I’m brilliant!” and “No one cares!” from the bloody mess of my self-image. 

I was catching breaths every time a review notification showed up in my e-mail, punching my desk every time it was a one-line message on par with “nice story” or “you made a typo.” Someone would link me to an author whose writings regularly got upwards of 60 comments, many of which were paragraphs long, and I’d spend the rest of the night playing video games or writing angrily, trying to figure out why I kept coming back. I was this tiny voice trying to get through a cacophony of other tiny voices and a few people with megaphones. 

I didn’t need to be the greatest. I just wanted to be audible, and visible. I wanted to be associated with this thing we were all circling, and more generally, I wanted to be associated with the ideas I put forward, whether or not they had anything to do with the subject of a given fandom. 

I remember wondering what “popular” people did with their “numbers.” I saw a lot of them organizing events, running contests, doing panels at conventions. 

I was on one of those, a couple of times at Otakon. It wasn’t because I was well-known; compared to the other panelists, I was nothing. I was there because my friend happened to be running the panel and asked if I wanted the empty seat left behind by a panelist who had called out sick. I said yes. 

It was weird. I had a really good time. I had a good stage presence and I was pretty quick, funny and I engaged the crowd along with the other authors. I felt, for the first time, hey--maybe I’m not just a loser who can’t write worth a damn. 

Then it was over, and I watched as people lined up to get things signed by the other authors, and no one came to me at all. You may be brilliant--and no one cares. 

Well...except one person. I remember him as “Green Notebook Guy” because he apologized for not having anything for me to sign except the notebook he’d brought with him. I signed it blindly, and listened to him thank me. He’d come to the panel just to hear me talk. He liked the things I’d put up on FFN and that had gotten onto RPGamer (this was 2001, I think) and was very eager to read more. If he told me his name, I don’t remember. I was too busy trying to restart my heart, to process the fact that anyone came up to me at all. 

He was the only one. I think about him a lot. Green Notebook Guy might not even remember me now, but he was someone who, for years, I used to invalidate “no one cares.” He cared enough to meekly come up to my seat on the stage and ask for a momento from me, like what I was doing meant something. 

Well, I thought, maybe I’m not recognized by the “popular” people, but hell, Green Notebook Guy cares. And if he’s still paying attention, if even one other Notebook Person is reading, then what I’m doing matters. 

There were other events in my life that encouraged me to throw off No One Cares, but that one stands out. Just...this one acknowledgement from one person who I never saw again. Sometimes I think the fact it was a stranger is part of what made it so powerful. 

There are a lot of accounts following mine. More than I could ever befriend. A lot of them are abandoned, I’m sure several are here for the reblogs and artwork I signalboot, and some of them are probably bots. But even accounting for those, there are a lot of actual people--strangers--who have more than a passing interest in what I have to say and the idea always floors me. It’s so unusual, so not how most of my life has been, it’s difficult for me to parse as being something real. 

But I have numbers to back up the facts. So I try to remind myself, from time to time. Read through every name, from people who followed hours ago all the way back to my first follow (a friend who no longer uses tumblr). I try to wrap my head around it, and appreciate it. I try not to take it for granted. 

I don’t know how I come off to those followers, reader, or even the friends I’ve made...if I’m pegged as “popular,” or just another FFVIII fan. I don’t know how well-known I am. But I am known, and that’s enough. I have what I wanted, years ago. 

And then, there are days I still feel invisible. I forget, somehow, how to participate. Those days, it’s easy to forget the numbers. I think of other people with bigger numbers and imagine how quickly I could be erased if just one of them decided they didn’t like me. It paralyzes me, some nights, nights like tonight, the idea of all these people who watch me, just shrugging me off. I imagine how that might happen. I’m terrified of going stale. I’m afraid my ramblings come off as tired, annoying, or conceited. More than anything, I’m scared of making other people feel like I felt when I was in my early 20s...lost in the noise. 

In 2015 (I think?) I did a thing where I called out pretty much every follower and told them what they did for me, or at least acknowledged their presence if I had no idea who they were or why they were here. I remember how many people were just happy they were noticed. I remember how, at the same time, I was happy to have brightened their day, and how sad I was to remember the sort of headspace where being noticed at all by someone I respected or even a stranger was something I’d pined after. 

I did something similar with the Things I Try to Remember When I’m Nervous About Writing post, and received a similar response. I keep myself up at night trying to think of ways to combat this phenomenon. I made an FFVIII Discord, and that’s been wonderful. We rebooted @timblr-maniacs, and that’s been great, too. I’ve seen a lot of people who I’ve never seen before start speaking up and sharing, making connections and being seen. If I can imagine I had any hand in that, it makes me feel really good. Like I did something good. 

Everyone has a story to tell, something to say. Even if you aren’t a writer, or an artist, even if you’re just someone who reblogs everything, you need social capital as badly as the next person. I think the days I’m the most lonely and frightened are the days I feel I’m not paying it forward, where I worry there’s no good way of doing so.

I guess...I’m not sure what the point of this post is. I’m trying to solve a problem in my head that might not really be solvable; the problem that, as you make connections with people and develop an audience, a rift inevitably begins to form between you and that audience. Your experience, as someone who is more visible, differs from the experience of those who are not. And you can’t befriend every single person, it’s physically, neurologically impossible. 

But...if you are reading this, and you’re someone who feels unseen, who has no “Green Notebook Guy,” who thinks I wouldn’t care about you because we’ve never talked and I seem out of reach, or you feel like there are other people you want to communicate with who are out of reach, too popular, etc...I guess, tell me about it. Send an ask, or a message, leave a comment, anything. Tell me what you’d like to see from such out-of-reach people, what would encourage you, what you want to know or hear to feel like you aren’t lost in the noise, to keep yourself going. Because it is worth pressing on, but fuck knows I’ve been there, wondering why. 

I’m asking both because I’m curious, because I want to know where my own blind spots are, and because I’m thinking about Green Notebook Guy, selfishly, wondering where he is. I feel ineffectual, and I’m coping by trying to do something that matters. I’m not even sure what. 

[timblr-maniacs]

Timber Maniacs on Discord

A Timber Maniacs category with channels corresponding to each magazine has been created on our FFVIII Discord. Come say hello, share your WIPs, and feel free to offer suggestions or pitch your ideas!

[lixana]

Wow I just realized I have 700+ followers now!!

What a nice birthday present! I know I’m definitely not as active as I once used to be... But still seeing that people are interested in my blog warms my heart. <3

I should really start making edits again... Maybe more FFVIII aesthetic edits? Or some more edits for @timblr-maniacs? I still have some travel adverts to finish... Or do you want to see more of my cosplays? What would you be interested in the most? ^^

And thanks to everyone who remembered my birthday! You’re all so precious :) It was actually yesterday and I spent the whole day with my friends. It was a lot of fun!!

[lixana]

lunamanar said: We’re always happy to have more submissions! Was just thinking I really need to pull another “issue” together; every single prompt was addressed during the last one!

I’ll work on another travel advert then! ^^ I still just absolutely love the idea of @timblr-maniacs, it’s so creative and brings the FFVIII fandom together <3 Can’t wait to see more.

[lixana]

Hello, my beautiful tumblr people!~ I hit the 555 followers mark some time ago and thought: It’s time for my second Follow Forever! So first of all: thanks to all the people on here who make my days brighter (mutuals, followers and people that I follow). You’re all amazing persons and I love seeing you on my dash or in my activity <3 Let’s start! Mutuals are bolded ^^

A-E @alexandargideonlightwood @amiontop @aurenare @balamblion @benvey @blondejongin @bunansax2 @cactuarqueen @caerberus @cinnaminroll @crimson-sky-ffviii-blog @digi-egg @dxrkimpulse @ellie-mars @ennea @estersand @ethernalium @excitate-vos-e-somno @exo-chanyeollie @eyesonfinalfantasy

F-J @finalfantasyunity @fuckyeafinalfantasyviii @fuckyeahffboys @fuckyeahjapanandkorea @gladiolvs @goodbye-shepard @haveamagicalday @hynpos @i-am-nikki-heat @ibisangelus @ibuzoo @ilabarattolo @imgiannaandyougottadealwithit @isometricperspective @jonginplease

K-O @kh-art @kaitaestrophe @kisaraa @kricketoons @lagunasloire  @lavrentia @laxicchan @lightninggunblade @lovelysora @lunamanar @lunsch @lureofthesea @magistera @malected @marajedi @missavira @myscarletlips @noxarcanax @ohhmomo @one-diagonal-scar @opheliagreen

P-S @reilynn @renzokuuken @princessesfanarts @rinoaandsquall @rinoaheartillyy @robasarel @robodeather @roxas-uke @sarafabrizi @seedicks @seifea-almasyze-blog @shadowcatgirl09​ @shawollet @sheilaknight @sherlock @sherlockbbcgifs @shineeislove @silentstarlight @simquall @skribleskrable @song-of-gold @strane-stelle

T-Z @taeminenotatypo @taemtallyinlove @tgardenfestivalcommittee @thatridiculouslycuteunicorn @thedisneyprincess @thegardennymph @thefantasyhasnolimits @these-5-shine-the-brightest @the-lovely-rebel @thingsinlifeyoujustdo @timblr-maniacs @vanille32 @voctan @warriorworm @wischmob @white--whiskers @x-euphoria

(ﾉ^ヮ^)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧

[lixana]

Timber Travels advert #2 - Deling City, the vibrant capital of Galbadia Book now and enjoy your vacation!

For @timblr-maniacs

[lixana]

Timber Travels advert #1 - Balamb, Seaside Paradise Book now and enjoy your vacation!

For @timblr-maniacs Inspired by @xrebelxheartx‘s edits

[timblr-maniacs]

ATTN: Tim Mani Journalists

[Monthly Challenge #1]

Esteemed Contributors,

As you all know, Timber Maniacs is regarded as both the most prolific and respected outlet for quality journalism around the world. As the number one publisher on the Galbadian continent, it’s important that we speak not only to our avid devotees, but also our skeptics and niche audiences. Therefore, we are calling on our intrepid journalists, our authors, illustrators and photographers, to expand their vision and seek out the lesser known wonders of the world, bring the unnoticed into the spotlight, ask the oft-wondered but never spoken questions. 

To that end, our board has come up with some topics we would like to see explored in our upcoming issues. 

(We understand that the investigation of some of these examples would come at great personal risk. We reassert our deepest admiration for our brave journalists who place themselves in harm’s way in pursuit of their dreams. As one of our most successful journalists once said, ‘put your mouth where your heart is. Or something like that.’ We can only assume he meant that if your passion is for journalism, danger is of secondary concern. Of course, we are free of all liabilities, so do what you feel you must.)

The following page contains our items of particular interest for this upcoming month. We request you read and thoroughly consider each.

Challenge #1: The Mysterious Language of the Majestic Chocobo 

Chocobos are known the world over for their speed, strength and beauty. Shy, yet surprisingly brave, when befriended they are stalwart companions. They have carried ancient warriors into battle, and remain a staple of messaging services between remote towns and settlements such as Winhill. But they remain elusive, curious creatures and their means of communication--strange vocalizations and body gestures--has baffled animal behaviorists for decades. We have good information indicating there is a particular stretch of forest in Esthar’s highlands where all wild chocobos gather to roost, and there it is possible to witness these amazing birds perform a breathtaking dance in concert with one another. This sight has never been documented, however we have great faith in our journalists’ abilities to embark on what is sure to be an adventure-filled expedition, and make us the first to chronicle this legendary dance.

Challenge #2: The Haunted Flower Town

Speaking of Winhill, we keep getting reports of some ghost flowers, or a ghost who lives in flowers at a bar, and talking suits of armor or...something is going on with Winhill, and this one person who lives there insists their house is haunted. If someone could go down there and find out what they’re babbling about, maybe we’ll stop getting all these creepy messages. 

Challenge #3: Junk Shop Junctioneers

We call them “junk shops,” but everyone knows these supposed parts resellers deal mainly in one thing: weapons and weapon accessories. From simple shotguns to artfully designed swords that can also junction magic, what was once a secretive black market has become the defacto pit-stop for many a soldier and weapons’ enthusiast. The history of these staple stores, however, remains shrouded in hearsay and rumor. As an important part of history, we feel it would benefit the public and, for that matter, all of society, to understand and have documented the real story of this important network of arms. 

We hope you find the spark of inspiration within these focuses. As always, we will accept all applications to publish, wherever your journalistic heart leads you.

[timblr-maniacs]

Timber Maniacs is now on Deviant Art!

Since a lot of fans ping back and forth between DA and Tumblr, we thought it would be good to set up “the magazine” in both places. This will allow artists and authors to submit their work to either site (or both!) and will make it easier for us to organize and archive submissions; on tumblr, things tend to get lost if tagged improperly (and even sometimes if they are tagged properly), and that’s a shame but it’s the nature of social media. Anything submitted or posted to the DA group will be placed in the appropriate gallery, and different types of articles will be easy to browse and find. 

Of course, This blog is not going anywhere! You can submit to either the tumblr or the DA group and we’ll continue to update both. If you’ve already submitted to this blog and want your work to appear on the DA page, you may submit it there as well (you will need a DA account to do so). 

Have a look-see and give us your feedback! If you have any suggestions, we’d love to hear them. 

[timblr-maniacs]

Prompts/Challenges?

So I know this blog is still relatively new, but we’ve already got a fair number of followers and I imagine many of them are creatively inclined. Sometimes it’s hard to think of a starting point, though. What if we posted periodic prompts or challenges? I’ve seen similar groups do this, and it seems to help spur submissions, conversation and overall interest. 

Right now I’m just info-gathering, so reblog/reply in the comments or tags, or send us an ask with your opinion: Do you think writing/art prompts and challenges would be helpful/a good idea for this blog? If so, how frequent should they be? Monthly? Weekly? Bi-weekly? Do you have other thoughts about it?